Card Game

Card Game Jokes

Marriage

Marriage is like a deck of cards.

In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

Deck

Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.

Green Card

Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.

Woman

An elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home.

The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game.

The man asks, "Is it your first time?"

The woman replies, "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."

Life

My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.

I always hit on 16, then get busted.

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  • Orphan

    Why can't orphans play poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

    Orphan

    Why are orphans so bad at poker?

    They don’t know what a full house looks like.

    Card

    What's Hitler's favorite Yu-Gi-Oh card?

    BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON

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  • Poker

    Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?

    Because she always gets a Royal flush!

    Fox

    Why do animals hate playing card games with foxes?

    They’re a bunch of cheetahs!

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  • Orphan

    Why can’t an orphan play games with a full house in them? Because they don’t know what a full house is.

    Dick

    Boy: Your dick is so small, oh wait, you don't have one.

    Older boy: UNO reverse card!

    Cheetah

    Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?

    Because he was playing with a cheetah!

    Royal Flush

    Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.

    They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.

    The angel said, "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today, so I must decide which one of you will be admitted."

    The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.

    Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."

    The Angel thanked Dolly and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, the same question.

    The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever, and flushed it without saying a word.

    The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."

    Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations, and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode, and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?"

    "Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are."