Woman jokes
Why are women like hurricanes?
They come in nasty and wet, then leave with your house and car.
One day the teacher said, "There are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. How many are left?" The teacher calls on lil Johnny. "None," the teacher said, "no but try again." Lil Johnny says, "None, because if you shoot one the rest get scared and leave." The teacher said, "Not quite, but I like the way you think."
Lil Johnny then says, "Alright teacher, I have one for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench, one's sucking it, the other is licking it, and the last one is biting it. Which one is married?" The teacher then says, "The one sucking it, of course!" Lil Johnny then says, "No, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think!"
A man asks a woman, "Are you a school?"
The woman replies, "No, why?"
The man says, "Oh, I wanted to shoot my kid inside of you."
What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?
Memes
I like my couches like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.
Why did Beyonce say "to the left to the left"?
Because women don't have rights.
Why are women like KFC?
After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Dark, rich, and imported.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
I got kicked out of the school library for placing a women's rights book in the fiction section.
Today I was asked to go out by 17 women. Well, I was in the women's bathroom. 💀
How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?
When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.
A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"
The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."
The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
What is 6 inches long and makes women scream? Stillbirth...
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've told her twice.