Woman jokes
Q: What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A: A battery has a positive side.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Eileen.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So, she gets a divorce.
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
YOU ARE GONNA KILL HIM CALM DOWN!!!
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.
On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.
“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I don’t see what the problem is.
The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!
What did the man say to the woman? "Make me a sandwich."
I believe in a woman's right to choose...
...whether she wants to cook first and then clean or clean first and then cook.
Michael proved anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman?
We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.
If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive.💀
Q: What are women better than men at doing?
A: Winning arguments.
Q: What are men better than women at doing?
A: Winning swimming titles.
Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman.
Why do women only use their left arm? Because they don’t have rights.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly woman?
The Twin Towers got fucked.
I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.
What's the only time women are doing real work? When they are giving blow jobs.