Woman jokes

Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?

Just too bitter.

I saw a person raping a woman in an alleyway. I decided to help...she doesn't stand a chance between us.

Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?

What do cannibals call a pregnant woman?

A Kinder Surprise.

What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?

"Who are you wearing?"

What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”

He hid in her attic.

What's cold, blue and makes women cry?

Cot death.

What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?

A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.

What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.

What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?

A black woman dressed for church.

Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?

Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?

What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.