Woman jokes

Why did the topless woman shout, "Stop raping us?"

Because she was uneducated.

Rape jokes are so incredibly offensive to stupid women like me who don’t understand what comedy is.

What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?

Snow balls.

Why do women have small feet?

So they can stand closer to the sink.

What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?

“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”

H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?

W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.

*Later that day*

W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?

H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.

So this is how I got divorced.

On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!

123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.

Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."

The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.

The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.

The third lady says, "I never had a husband."

The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."

They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.

The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."

"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"

What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?

An Oreo.

Why are history teachers always women? Because they like to bring up the past.

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?

One stops sucking when you smack it.

How do men like their women? Striped.

How does a priest like their children? Clean.

Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.

What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.

What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?

"Alcohol, you later!"

Women need to be in the kitchen.

Josh: What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called?

Daniel: Isn’t it the women?

Josh: Oh yes, that’s right.

What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?

"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."

What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? A combo meal.

A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”

The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."

Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.