What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
It was women driving the planes for 9/11.
What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?
A black woman dressed for church.
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
What's cold, blue and makes women cry?
Cot death.
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
