Woman jokes
Bippity Boppity,
Women are property.
123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.
Cops have the hardest job: they have to tell women they have the right to remain silent and know damn well she will not have the ability.
What do you call a missing Indian woman?
An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator.
"Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $30."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100."
The woman, slightly annoyed, gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.
A young woman goes for her first gynecological exam, and the nurse has her take off her clothes, put on a gown, and get in the stirrups. She tells her the doctor will be in in a minute.
The doctor comes in and tells the young lady that she has one of the most beautiful vaginas he’s ever seen, and he has seen a lot of them. She thanks him for the compliment. He tells her he is about to start the examination, but he is going to have to numb her first, when she says ok, he goes:
"Num num num num num!"
I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"
She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"
I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.
Why haven’t any women gone to the moon?
A: It doesn’t need to be cleaned.
Why do Indian men marry fat women?
I call my girlfriend .05 because she's a bag I blow into when I've had a few drinks.
I hope death is a woman That way she'll never look at me twice
Women are gay.
"Wheelchair" - HAHA!
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you ain't already told her twice.
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you haven't told her twice.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
What do you say to a woman who is completely beaten up on her face, full of bruises, and has a broken jaw?
"Will you listen now?!??"