Woman jokes

I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.

Hippity Hoppity, women are my property.

Bippity Boppity, get the f*ck off my property!

A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"

The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.

Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...

"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"

I suppose that was a fair compromise!

Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?

Just too bitter.

I saw a person raping a woman in an alleyway. I decided to help...she doesn't stand a chance between us.

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.

What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?

Depends.

My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."

Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.

What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.

Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.

If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).

I got a job at a library. I got fired after 15 minutes. They told me it was because I put women's rights in the fiction section.

What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.

Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?

Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?

I wish death was in the form of a woman.

That way, it would never come for me.

I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.

I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.