Woman jokes
The difference between women and beer is that beer makes you happy for nothing, why women make you angry for nothing.
What is not the definition of prostitution?
A dumb blonde that got money for babysitting. Does it cycle now?
What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?
"I don't get it."
When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"
What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese.
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?
My last if she knows what's good for her.
I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
What's better, a woman or a man?
Neither, for I am WHITE.
Women suck (GET IT?!)
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
Guy: Do you know how to draw woman's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper and reality.
Alright, what do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
What’s the difference between women and condoms?
There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.
Son: “Mom, is there a thing called «friendship» between a man and a woman?”
Mother: “No Son, unless if he’s gay.”
Son: “So your friend is gay?”
Mother with herself: «How did he see me with michael omg if my husband discovered my cheating he will kill me»
Mother: “Mmm.. Yes.”
Father loudly: “YES!!!”
Mother: “What in the hell? Are you gay?”
Father with himself: «Am i an idiot why did i yell?! if she discovered I’m gay and her son was made by Paul’s semens she will kill me»
Father: “No what are saying? I’m just talking with myself.”
*A few hours later*
Mother: “I will go to visit my mother.”
Father: “Me too I will go to visit my mother.”
Son: “Not me too I will go to stud with my friends.”
The mother and the father goes to michael’s house and they found their son playing with Michael and Paul is recording them and saying: «that’s why I love you my actual son oh only if your mother knows».
*The End* :D
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.