Woman jokes
Gays: I like men.
Straight: I like women.
Bisexual: A hole is a hole.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?
You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.
What kind of bike do women ride?
A menstrual cycle.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"
"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!'
I thought, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
I'm looking for women. Put your height, weight, and bra size in the comments.
Man, I love this joke: Women's rights.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.
You walk into an area that has big asses on the wall, and they feel lifelike, so you put your dick into them, and you go on the opposite side of the wall, and women are naked through the wall.
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.
What takes 10 parking spaces? Five women.
What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!
What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?
~they're both a dick in a box.
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀
Why do leftists call their child Ariel?
So they can decide whether it wants to be a man, woman, mermaid, or washing powder.
Why did the pervert sing "Gucci Gang"?
Because a woman just gave him a lil pump.