Woman jokes
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
I like my coffee like my women.
Amateur.
Memes
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.
What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
What's the difference between women and men?
Men have rights.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
Gays: I like men.
Straights: I like women.
Russia: Hole is hole.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Men built civilisations. Men went to the moon. Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society.
Women did none of those. They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines.
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.
Man: Can you be my girlfriend?
Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.
Man: Oh, here's your rope.