Woman jokes

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?

She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.

What’s the difference between women and cars?

At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.

A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.

What is the difference between women and cars?

At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.

Women deserve rights and lefts.

Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.

Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.

What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?

Only one moans when I put my meat in it.

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"

She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"

He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

I went to the “lists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.

Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.

"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."

Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.

Gays: I like men.

Straights: I like women.

Russia: Hole is hole.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?

Their knees.

Men built civilisations. Men went to the moon. Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society.

Women did none of those. They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines.

Man: Can you be my girlfriend?

Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.

Man: Oh, here's your rope.

If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.

What did one saggy boob say to the other?

"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"