Woman jokes
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Men
Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?
A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
What's the difference between women and men?
Men have rights.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
I went to the “lists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.
Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."