Woman jokes

A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"

She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"

He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

I went to the “lists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.

Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.

"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."

What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?

The back of my hand.

I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"

I like my coffee like my women.

Amateur.

How do you know a woman is blind?

Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.

Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?

He gets to tear that ass up one more time.

Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.

Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?

She started her period.

Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.

Gays: I like men.

Straights: I like women.

Russia: Hole is hole.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?

Their knees.

Men built civilisations. Men went to the moon. Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society.

Women did none of those. They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines.

Man: Can you be my girlfriend?

Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.

Man: Oh, here's your rope.

If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.

What did one saggy boob say to the other?

"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"

What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?

They both kidnap Canadian women!

Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.

Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.