Woman jokes
I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious. He ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over. They asked what happened, and the German soldier said, "Hail hit her."
Women be like men are trash, [but] forgets women raised those men.
The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we've all kicked a pregnant woman before we were even born.
A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."
Gwen pegs Xavier.
How do you know Adam and Eve were white?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?
What is the best joke in the world? Women’s rights.
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
Man and woman are having a discussion. The woman looks into the man's eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . "
". . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in!"
Divorce is scheduled for next month.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
My brother when he sees a girl.
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.
Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?
A period.
Why can't a woman find a glory hole inside of the lady's room?
Because piss comes out of a woman's pussy.