A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."
A guy finds a genie.
He says, "I wish I was better at talking to women."
"Poof!" the genie says, "You're gay!"
While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.
Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:
The guy says, "I'm a fireman."
The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"
The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."
The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."
I like my women how I like my wine.
Aged 9 years and lives in the basement.
My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"
How did the black woman name her 4 babies?
Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone.
How did she differentiate them?
She called them by their last names.
Woman: "I want coffee, black."
Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"
A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.
A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.
For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.
I like my women how I like my wine.
14 years aged and locked in a cellar.
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.
Violence against women is funny :)
Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.
What do you call a lost Indian woman? Ms. Singh.
Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.
Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"
Trump: "Screw the women and children!"
Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"
I like my wine how I like my women: 7 years old, and locked up in my basement.
So, if the reason people used to hang women was because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung, would they be called wizards?
The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.
