Woman jokes
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?
"Kinder Egg surprise."
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
What's the difference between a woman and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious. He ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over. They asked what happened, and the German soldier said, "Hail hit her."
What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?
"I don't get it."
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we've all kicked a pregnant woman before we were even born.
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
What do you call a bad bitch? You call them stupid bitches.
I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.
What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?
You are so butty-ful!
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
What’s the difference between a woman that doesn’t belong in the kitchen and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot is real.
What do you call a woman who sleeps with multiple men?
A whore.
My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.
Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"
How to trick a gay man into having sex with a woman?
Take a dump on her vagina!
You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?
Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.
Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.
They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.