Pregnant woman jokes
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
Is shooting and killing a pregnant woman a spawn kill or double kill?
What do cannibals call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Surprise.
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?
"Kinder Egg surprise."
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.
Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
What’s the best part about having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.
Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?
Mike said: I don’t know, what?
Jon said: Kinder surprise.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb.
My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? A combo meal.