What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb.
Pregnant Woman Jokes
The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we've all kicked a pregnant woman before we were even born.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Surprise egg.
My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"
Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?
Mike said: I don’t know, what?
Jon said: Kinder surprise.
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Egg surprise!
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? A combo meal.
What do cannibals call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Surprise.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.
I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.
Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"
"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.
The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."
Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?
"Kinder Egg surprise."
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?
Is shooting and killing a pregnant woman a spawn kill or double kill?
