Pregnant woman jokes
Is shooting and killing a pregnant woman a spawn kill or double kill?
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.
Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
What’s the best part about having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
What do cannibals call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Surprise.
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?
"Kinder Egg surprise."
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? A combo meal.
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?
Mike said: I don’t know, what?
Jon said: Kinder surprise.
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"
"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.
The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."
Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Egg surprise!
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.