Woman jokes
I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
"In chess, a queen can move in more directions than the king."
I mean, yeah, the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor, so-
Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.
Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"
Trump: "Screw the women and children!"
Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"
Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.
At the library, I got in trouble for putting a cooking book in the women's section.
Yo mama so fat when she walks the earth talks!
LMAO
What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
Q: What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A: A battery has a positive side.
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing?
A: A knife has a point.
Why do more women than men oppose abortion? Because they prefer not to get raped.
Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."
What is a woman doing with an empty sheet?
Reading her rights!
If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.
I dunno man, worked for me.
A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.
I think she was pulling my leg.
"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"