Woman jokes
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
Violence against women is funny :)
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.
Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.
If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive.💀
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
Why did the woman want a boyfriend at least 2 🦶 taller?
So she could feel like a little girl and fulfill her rape fantasy.
Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.
Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"
Michael proved anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman?
The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)
What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.
Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
The police officer in London, who used fake Covid rules to arrest a young woman, drive her more than 50 miles out of London in a hire car, murder her, and do whatever to her, has appealed against his Whole Life tariff.
He should be relieved it was only that! Could've been worse... could've married her!