Will jokes
All countries will get Covid.
Except China, they got it right off the bat.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
Why can't England play chess?
Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.
Doctor, what is wrong with me?
You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."
I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.
What’s the difference between milk and the air?
At least the air will always be there for me.
What superhero will orphans never understand?
Homelander.
I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.
Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!
Figure: Who wants to play hide and seek?
Seek and Hide: Me.
Figure: Okay, hide and I will hide and Seek will be it.
Seek: Why do I have to be it?
Figure: Because your name says so.
I wish my grass was emo because then it would cut itself.
Just buy emo grass, then you will never have to mow your lawn again.
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
Your hairline is so pushed back it looks like Will Smith slapped it back.
If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?
I will be back on tomorrow at 5pm CST.
How to know something won’t be fun:
Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"