Will jokes

Just buy emo grass, then you will never have to mow your lawn again.

I will be back on tomorrow at 5pm CST.

Like this,

it will give you good luck. See for yourself!

How to know something won’t be fun:

Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"

I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.

Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!

Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?

So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.

What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?

Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!

Do you know Wildee?

What's that?

Will deez nuts fit into your mouth?

I want a series too, that will be SANS-tastic!

Helen Keller is so Helen Keller-y that nobody will be as good as Helen Keller.

You suck harder than a vacuum ever will :)

"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)

If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.

Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.

Doctor, what is wrong with me?

You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.

Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.

Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"

Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.

If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.

But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

"Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way."

"Dr. Squatch will heal the itch, and know it goes away, hey!"

Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.

Bully 2: Look in a mirror.

Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.

If Kobe missed a shot, his helicopter will too.