Will

Will jokes

Jackass

  • Prince will be coming back in 10 mins here is a joke.

    Gwen: Prince sorry but I'm wanting someone else instead. You've just been a complete jackass toward me, sorry good night.

    Prince: Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Gwen: Good night!

    Prince: Why?

    Gwen: Because...now good night!

    Prince: We can work some things out?

    Gwen: Nope...NOW GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!

    To be continued

    Toaster

  • And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

  • 6
  • Masturbation

  • Boy goes to Confession.

    Boy: "What are you doing, father?"

    Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."

    Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"

    Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."

  • 10
  • Sex

  • Little Johnny was playing with dick when his teacher walked in the room. She asked him what he was doing, he said Im doing my homework. The teacher saw how big his cock was and asked him to have sex with her. He willingly did so. Little johnny was already 25 so it didn't matter. The only thing was that he was homeschooled.

  • 9
  • West

  • These are the reasons the West will fall. Also, men's rights are f***ing stupid if men keep voting for rich whites!

    Name

  • How names were named.

    "I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."

    "SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"

  • 0
  • Mum

  • Go to the replies, look at the top and it will say "in your mum."

    Autism

  • Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.

    Class

  • Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."

    Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"

    Teacher

  • A note for my History Teacher:

    Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.

  • 1
  • Baby

  • Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said, "Honey, I'm flat chested." The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex.

    The next day, the wife said, "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said, "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."

  • 0
  • Wife

  • Me and my friends were talking. Then we started talking about our wives. I said, "So, I married a volcano for a wife. You never know when she will blow up."

    Rapist

  • The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.

  • 2
  • Incest

  • Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!

  • 1
  • Flight

  • I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!

    At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"

    Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.

  • 2
  • Hypocrite

  • A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a beer. After 10 shots of vodka, the guy had, the bartender figured if he talked to him, he would tell him everything as he’s not sober.

    Bartender: Hey, that’s some nice jewellery you have there. It must be expensive.

    Guy: Yeah, this bracelet is made of 100% diamond. It cost me like 250 thousand dollars. What a bargain, eh?

    Bartender: Seems like you make a lot of money. What do you do for a living?

    Guy: I take cash from the bank and don’t give it back. It takes a lot of moral courage to rob banks to provide for my family.

    Bartender: What? If that’s the case, then why do you even pay for the jewellery or this beer? You’re a hypocrite, that’s what you are, justifying robbing people as a living.

    Guy: Hypocrite? You’re right. I'm living with double standards to justify my actions.

    (5 seconds later)

    Guy: Aye, open the cash register and give me your wallet or I will blow your fucking brains out. I fucking hate hypocrites and I will not gonna be one of em!

  • 0