Why jokes

Sans

Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.

Bible

Why is the bible like a penis You get it forced down your throat by a priest

Furry

I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.

I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."

He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"

"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."

Memes

Society

why did i laugh at this? this is alot like someone I know.. hmm- ( in the cmmts write who u think it is!)

The image shows six panels, each depicting a different idea of what work from home looks like. The first shows someone sleeping with a pug, labeled "What society thinks I do." The second shows a hand holding a remote, with popcorn, labeled "What my family thinks I do." The third shows a child using a laptop, labeled "What my friends think I do." The fourth shows a woman with large sunglasses and luggage, labeled "What my clients think I do." The fifth shows a woman looking at a computer screen, labeled "What I think I do." The last shows a woman yelling into a phone, labeled "What I really do."

Adult

🤔 🤔 🤔 Why did a ♿ why did a physically handicapped 👨 gay man that is a sex worker received $35.00 for a blowjob from gay men in the LGBT community? because he can suck the chrome of a tail pipe 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌

Orphan

Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.

Wheelchair

A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.

He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.

The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.

On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"

Feminist

Why are feminist rape claims never taken seriously? Nobody wants to rape fat, hairy gorillas.

Egg

I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.

Shark

Why do sharks swim in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

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  • Oompa loompa

    Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?

    They wanted some chocolate balls.

    Maid

    The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.

    The wife asked, "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"

    Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."

    Wife: "Who said that?"

    Maid: "Your husband."

    Wife: "Oh."

    Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."

    Wife: "Who said that?"

    Maid: "Your husband."

    Wife: "Oh."

    Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."

    Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"

    Maid: "No, the gardener did."

    Wife: "So how much do you want?"

    Reader

    Who are the fastest readers of all time?

    People who jumped out of the Twin Towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.

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