Why jokes

Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.

Why can't weapons play baseball?

Because they need to get to home base.

Why don’t babies pollinate flowers?

God chose Plan B.

Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.

Why are ninjas' farts so dangerous? Because they're silent and deadly.

Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?

Because you can't see in the dark.

Why do orphans play GTA?

To be wanted.

Why do orphanages give out free phones?

So you can press the home button.

Why did the prostitute lose all her money?

Because she got f*cked.

Why does Wednesday Addams never blink?

Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?

Because she had none of the above.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.

Why do orphans play GTA5 so much?

So they could be wanted.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

My heart is dead.

I’m such a fool.

Why did I fall for you?

Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.

If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.

Why don’t orphans play baseball? Because they don’t have a home to go to.

Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"

Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."

The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."

The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"

Some sperm arrive in the uterus and see that the egg is already fertilized. They complain that they lost the race and have nothing to do but die.

One speaks up and says he isn't angry, and the others ask why.

"He thought he was going to be alive," the sperm says. "This chick works at an abortion clinic."

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: I don't know why.

Man: Because they have a family plan.

Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.

Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.

Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.