Why jokes

Murder

Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"

Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."

Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."

Guy: "About that..."

Mummy

Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.

Memes

Priest

Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.

Garden

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

Chess

Why can't the USA and England play chess?

USA has no towers and England has no queen.

Dildo

Head of Company: "We need to stop testing our products on animals."

Consultant: "Why? The shampoo companies do it."

Head of Company: "Yeah, but we make dildos."

Autopsy

A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, "She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?" The wife replies, "Perform the fucking autopsy!"

Friend

My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."

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  • Donald Trump

    Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?

    He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!

    Orphan

    Why was the orphan's first phone an iPhone X? Because it didn't have a home button.

    Susie

    Why did Susie fall off the swing?

    Because she didn't have any arms.

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Not Susie.

    Orphan

    Why do orphans go to church? Because they can finally call someone "father."