Why jokes
Dogs are better relationship partners than you. Wanna know why? They're loyal, patient, love unconditionally, smart. Traits you clearly lack, you cheating ass bitch.
I'd rather kiss a cactus than kiss you. Wanna know why?
Because at least I'd feel something with the cactus than I ever could with you.
Q. Why did the emo not like his AirBnB?
A. There wasn't enough carbon monoxide in the suite.
Why did I get a divorce, you ask? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't get me a present and didn't even wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my co-workers didn't wish me a happy birthday.
As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" That moment, I felt so special. She then asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?"
"Okay," I said.
She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, and my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
Why did they burn witches back in the day?
Because they were annoying feminists.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
So he didn't have to pay the gas bills.
Why are women like parking spots?
Because all of the good ones are always taken first, and you gotta wait until they're available again.
Why did the cow want to cross the road?
To watch a mooooovie!!
Why should you lose your virginity to an autistic person?
Because virginity needs to be lost with someone special.
Why do Chinese people need glasses to see better?
All they need to do is open their eyes.
Why do dictators always eat without leaving anything on the plate?
Because they can't leave a piece (peace).
Why is Ireland so gay?
Because the Brits stole all their women.
What did the gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?
"Why is there so much shit in here?"
Why do you not go to a gay man's BBQ?
Because the hotdogs taste like shit.
Why are orphans so bad at playing poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Why was 2 afraid of 1?
Because 7 ate 9.
Why is ten afraid?
Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.
Why can't an orphan ever play baseball?
Because they never found home.
Why is America so good at Rubik's cubes?
They have a history of sorting colours.
Why is Europe like a frying pan?
Because it has Greece at the bottom.