A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"
God replies, "So she would love you..."
Why Jokes
Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
Why did the straight white caucasian male cross the road?
Because a black person was approaching.
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
Why did the lettuce win the race?
Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?
So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.
Why do cheetahs run? Because they are spotty.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
Mom clean your room Me no it’s my room and I don’t want to clean it Mom you are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter me Well I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now am I you are the Worst like why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter I’m not her OK I am not her so stop Mom do you know what I pushed you out of my hula 43 minutes do not make me hate you because guess what I brought you into the world and I can take you out of it Me bro
Why can't the orphan take a family photo?
Answer: The orphan has no family to take a picture with.
If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.
If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?
If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.
Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!
Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?
So no one would know what side he was on.
Why is a ghost so predictable?
Because you can see right through it.
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find Homeplate.
Why did Santa stop at three ho's?
Ms. Claus caught him.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
