Why jokes
Why did the clown fall off his bike?
Because the neighbor threw a washing machine at him.
Why couldn't the teacher let her kids out?
Because she has no arms to open the door.
Why couldn't the farmer tend to the crops?
Because he's got no arms.
Why couldn't the kid play on his laptop?
Because he has no arms and no laptop and no legs and no head and no home and no money and got shot.
Why can’t Kurt Cobain ride in the passenger seat?
Because he doesn’t like when someone calls "shotgun!"
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a police officer?
Because he can't use a walkie-talkie.
Why did the fat man miss his flight?
His body weight exceeded the weight limit.
Why was Hitler banned from Formula One?
He could never finish a race.
Why did the paraplegic cross the road?
Because they didn't have any handicapped parking spots on his side.
Why did Sally stay in school?
Because she has no arms, she can’t open the door, and the teacher left!
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn't peeling well.
Why were the Twin Towers mad at 9/11?
They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
Why are there so few Arab soldiers? Because they always commit suicide on their first day.
Why are hurricanes like women? Because they come into your life, take nearly everything, and leave.
Why was nine scared of ten?
Because five was a registered twelve offender.
Wait, can I try the joke again?
A German, a Swiss, and a Russian make a bet: whoever has the most forest area in their country wins about 10,000 euros.
First, they fly over Switzerland: 8,000 square kilometers of forest. The German starts getting cold feet, as he doesn't think he'll win. Next, they fly over Russia: 50,000 square kilometers of forest. The German realizes he doesn't stand a chance unless he cheats.
When they fly over Germany, they see 10,000 square kilometers of forest. The German seems to have won, but then the Swiss shouts: "That's a tree!" The German was accused of fraud.
The German is furious. He calls the head of the Bundeswehr: "Why did the tree move?!" The boss said, "I'll put the guy who moved on the line," and passed the receiver over.
"Why did you move?" the German asked.
The young man replied: "Okay, when a dog came along and peed on my trunk, that was still fine. But then a bear came along and rubbed against my trunk..."
What does Joker say when someone gets angry at him for not liking oats?
"Hey, why so cereal?"
Why is it so hard to play hide-and-seek in an orphanage?
Because nobody is looking for them.
Dating a German is great because they don't play mind games; they just provide a detailed, 40-page PDF explaining exactly why you are wrong.
Why are people that have bipolar disorder never on suicide watch?
Because they are always sucking dick.