Why jokes

Why does an orphan’s calendar only have 363 days?

There are no Father’s or Mother’s Days on their calendar.

Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.

My friend: Why?

Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.

Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?

Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the "p" is silent.

Why did the royal wedding get more publicity than a school shooting?

Cause a royal wedding doesn't happen once a week.

Why was Michael Jackson at Kmart?

He heard they had little boys' pants 1/2 off.

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

So they could be wanted.

Why is flour retarded?

Because it's in-bread.

Why is Mars red? Because it saw Uranus! 😂

🤔 🤔 🤔 Why did a ♿ why did a physically handicapped 👨 gay man that is a sex worker received $35.00 for a blowjob from gay men in the LGBT community? because he can suck the chrome of a tail pipe 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌

I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.

I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."

He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"

"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."

Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.

Why can't Chinese play baseball?

Because they eat the bats.

Why is the bible like a penis You get it forced down your throat by a priest

Why can't dinosaurs talk?

Because they are all dead.

A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.

He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.

The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.

On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"

So, a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital, and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on.

Doctor: "So, your wife, she is paralyzed from the neck down."

And as the doctor goes on, he says all the things the man must do for her, like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says, "Why, WHY ME!"

Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the man's ear and says, "I'm just fuckin' with you, she's DEAD!"

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.