Why jokes

Why can't orphans play poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.

Why was the staircase so sad?

Because everyone walks on them.

Why was Michael Jackson kicked out of boy scouts? He was up to a pack a day!

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"

Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.

Why was the chef embarrassed?

He saw the salad dressing.

Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!

Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍

After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.

Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?

Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.

Why couldn't anyone hear Helen Keller when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing mittens.

In jail, why is the white guy scarier than the black guy? Because the white guy actually did something.

Why are Americans good at Rubik's Cubes?

They're so good at separating colors.

Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?

American: Self defense.

Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?

Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?

Because he has holes in his feet.

Why are orphans only able to have iPhone X's? Because it doesn't have a home button.

Why were the Twin Towers upset? They ordered Domino's but got jets.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

because they'll never make it home.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.

Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."