Why jokes
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?
Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why does the mushroom 🍄 have many friends?
Because it’s a fungi.
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
Why was the math book so sad? Because it was filled with problems.
Why did the bee buzz off?
Because he had to bee somewhere.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Why does a queen have more mobility than the king in chess?
Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll fuck you for $10." The boy says, “I would, but I don't have any money.” She says, “Ok, I'll take the duck instead.” He says ok, so they go upstairs and fuck.
The prostitute says, “That’s the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back and we can do it again.” So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, well, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and $25 for a fucked up fuck.
Why can't orphans play poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
Why was the staircase so sad?
Because everyone walks on them.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.
Why was the chef embarrassed?
He saw the salad dressing.
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!