Wheres jokes

Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?

He's all right now.

Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost? The nearest Shell station.

Where do squirrels go for fun?

The acorn-ival.

This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.

Were you born on the streets? Because that's where most accidents happen.

I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.

The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.

"Hi, I’m Dan White’s dad. Where is he?"

A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."

Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."

Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."

Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?

Wife: In a detective novel.

Why can’t an orphan play baseball?

They don’t know where home is.

Where do golf players practice?

Near a gulf.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor!"

Son: Dad, where are you?

Dad: Getting another one.

Son: Getting what?

Dad: Dad.

Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.

Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."

Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."

One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.

Yesterday, I tried to help a little girl by a road stop crying. I asked her where her parents were, and that made her cry harder. So then I asked her where her house was, and she said with tears, "I don't have one." So I got her in my car and drove her to where she said she was living. It was an orphanage.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.

The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."

"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."

"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."

Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.

*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...