When jokes

I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."

I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"

You're so fat, when you fall, the sidewalk cracks.

I like it when girls poop, it's really hot.

I like the big butt orange holes when the brown farter juice comes out of the orange. I like [it] a lot 🤑 🤑 🤑 🤑 🤑

I get a big weiner when I think about big farting girls.

What do you get when you cross a butt with a phone?

A booty call.

I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’

I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’

Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going!

Yo mama so fat, when she went to bed, the house shook.

You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.

A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.

And into a children's birthday party.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop an onion.

Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.

What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.

What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?

Christianity.

Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.

What is the best time to eat dinner?

When you're hungry.

When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."

When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."

Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.

Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.

Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."