When jokes
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
When the priest said, "Be gone from this boy, demon!" the demon replied, "And you get out of the boy!"
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
Why is it spicy?
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
Yo mama is so fat, when she nocliped into the backrooms, she was in level 0 and level 999 at the same time.
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
Yo mama so ugly, when she was born, the doctor tried to put her back in.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’
I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.