When jokes
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.
We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!
Why is it spicy?
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?!"
Yo mama so old when she farts, dust comes out.
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
What happens when you are playing Undertale, but it's snowy in town? It SNOWED in town!
What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?
What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
I bet emos get jealous when their phone dies.
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!