When jokes
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
Yo mama is so fat, when she nocliped into the backrooms, she was in level 0 and level 999 at the same time.
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
When the priest said, "Be gone from this boy, demon!" the demon replied, "And you get out of the boy!"
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’
I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
Yo mama so ugly, when she was born, the doctor tried to put her back in.
Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.
Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.
Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"