When jokes

Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.

When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.

How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?

Claus-trophobic.

What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?

Christianity.

When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?

Hiroshima, Japan 1946.

How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.

The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."

What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.

Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"

When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.

Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?

A: I'd hit that.

I bet emos get jealous when their phone dies.

Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?

A: Make sure to come upstairs!

Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.

Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.

Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.

What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?

When you drop them both, everyone screams.

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.

What do you do when a woman is choking?

Back up a couple inches.