When jokes
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the maternity ward was put on lockdown.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobic.
When rejected:
That's ok, the 3 other little pigs said no, too.
Memes
Why is it spicy?
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.
We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
Alabama gene pools are so shallow, when they freeze over, it's just snow.
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
Yo mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."
What did the two crewmates say when they were hanging on a rope? Polus up!
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"