When jokes

A mushroom walks into a bar and tries to hit on a blonde. When she turns him down, he goes to her and says, "C'mon, I'm a fun guy!"

What is the difference between a refrigerator and a baby?

The refrigerator doesn't cry when I put my meat in it.

What do people say to knights when they go to bed? Good knight!

A 6-year-old told the class the first time she got AIDS. The teacher listened. She said she scraped her knee. The girl was sent to an asylum. When she got out, she was 20. She had AIDS.

What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?

The redneck fucks the cow.

A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...

Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”

Why did God give women legs?

1. To look at.

2. To wrap around your neck when you’re eating her out.

When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.

When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.

When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.

When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.

I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career.

In the trailer, Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.

Your mum is so fat that when she looks in the mirror, the mirror cracked!

I am a racist, and I put my milk before cereal. Well, to be honest, that was when I had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some... then he left.

Now when I see a black guy, I yell, "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt!"

What do you call Jamieilyah when she is sleeping?

Sleeping Beauty.

When is Donald Trump?

What did the butt cheek say to the other when you open us a big order of "choochie man" comes out?

When a bomb goes off, they call it an explosion.

When Keemstar exposes someone, they call it an exposion.

People named Aaron are annoying. Why have two A’s when you can have none? (Ron)

When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?

"Echhh!"

Your dad is so stupid that when he jumped the fence, the gate was open.

A "type person" is addicted to eating sugar.

When the doctor saw this, he said,

"From Type 2 Diabetes!"

Get it?