When jokes
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged!
Your momma is so fat, when she gets done having sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.
What time is it when you need to go to the toilet?
Two-ply!
The Titanic was in a pickle when they saw the iceberg.
What time is it when dogs are an appointment? Time to scream!
I Was Wrong!!!
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
When a lady gets married, what does she borrow?
She borrows her husband's last name.
What happens when you search nudes on my phone?
Nothing, I don't have any.
How can you tell when a female was raped? She crossed herself out.
On April 1st, there was a baby born in the hospital when the doctor, out of sudden, directly takes the baby from the mother and smashes as hard as he can to the wall.
The mother crying and yelling, "What did you do? You killed my Baby!! Why did you kill my Baby?"
The doctor just laughs and says, "April, April, it was already dead."
Hahaha
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
What is a box called when a cough dies in it?
A coffin.
When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Jay-Z and B.
Yo mama so fat that when she went in the ocean, Spain claimed her for new land.
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.
I was once playing the bottle flip challenge on the school table with my friend, and when it was his turn, the bottle fell to his eggplant! 😱😂
Me: September is here!
[Labor Day comes]
Also me (ft. Green Day): “Wake me up when September ends!”
What do you call it when a rapper has a cold?
A sniff beat.
It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.
But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .