When jokes

What did the mincrater do when his Xbox turns off?

He raged! 😱

What's the song that plays at the very end of the movie, Dr. Strangecow, during the montage of nuclear blasts?

"Veal meat again, don't know where, don't know when..."

What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?

A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.

When you start sweating after filling in "C" for the third time in a row.

I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"

What do you get when skeletons are dancing in a tin can?

Noise!

During school today, a girl gave my friend her number. When I saw it, it was the principal's number.

What happens when the terminator pees?

Gasoline descent.

When an orphan is playing baseball, how come the coach doesn't tell them to hit it home?

He has no home to hit to.

When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."

What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?

The dog knows when to stop scratching.

Hey, yesterday I played with my sister. When I woke up, she was gone.

Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?

Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."

Therapist: That's not so bad.

Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."

I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!

Yo mama so fat, when she was just there, she made the whole earth go back to the ice age!

Ur mom is so fat that when she came to the front door, she was already at the back door.

I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.

My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.

All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.

I read the Brothers Grimm books, then I see a black figure reaping about.

I realized someone has died, but I don't do anything about it. I continue to read, and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.

The Demon when it gets summoned to earth only to find out it was a spelling mistake in Latin class. 😬