When jokes
Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.
Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.
What’s the difference between a computer and Paul Walker? I give a crap when my computer crashes.
Why were the Indians telling the others to chop off their noses when they got close to 12 inches?
Because then it would be a foot. LOL! I may have peed myself.
What happens when you search nudes on my phone?
Nothing, I don't have any.
When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.
By the way, have you seen my sister?
Remember when Calvin wanted to commit a school shooting?
The Titanic was in a pickle when they saw the iceberg.
Your momma is so fat, when she gets done having sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
Jurassic Park.
What time is it when you need to go to the toilet?
Two-ply!
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
I call my girlfriend .05 because she's a bag I blow into when I've had a few drinks.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you slap the mosquito, it stops sucking.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a dinosaur? A cat-astrophe!
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?
My last if she knows what's good for her.
What time is it when dogs are an appointment? Time to scream!
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
What is a box called when a cough dies in it?
A coffin.
When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,
"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"
Why use Heathrow when we have your forehead?
When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.
FUCKING MENT