When jokes

What is an orphan's favorite day?

Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.

Your mama's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.

Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!

I got jealous when my phone died.

What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?

"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"

I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."

When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣

You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.

When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.

And then Mark came in.

Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.

Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."

When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!

TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

What do you do when you're bored?

Beat up an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...

What did the soldier say when he saw a terrorist in a wheelchair?

"An RC-XD!"

That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.

You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.

What time is it when you have a toothache?

2:30 (Tooth hurty).

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.