When jokes
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??
He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 😂🤣👌🏻👌🏻.. knee slapper
This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar.
An hour or so goes by, then the new flame says, "I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice, food is great, but what's up with the monkey way down there?"
His friend says "OK, watch this." He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool, pulls down his zipper, and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin, cleaned himself, pulled up his zipper, then jumped back to his chair.
He walked back to his new gay friend and said, "What do you think of that?"
"MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that!" His squeeze said, "Wanna give it a try?"
"I sure do, JUST DON'T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey."
When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
When you’re hunting at a forest resort and you shoot a deer, but then you remember that there are no deer at the forest resort.
When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."
Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."
And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."
I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜
When you realize the person reading this is a clown.
When you're Russian to the bathroom, and when you're finished you're from Finland, what are you when you are IN the bathroom?
European.
What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?
Pokemon!
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?
Mitosis!!! (my-toe-sis)
Part 1: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 2: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 3: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 4: Guess what... two men were walking down the way when the second one fell in the sewers and died... The first one was lonely.
You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
Nobody:
The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:
tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!
Q: What's 8 inches and makes my wife scream when I put it in her mouth?
A: Her dead fetus.
A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it and shouts "I love my country!" Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, "I love my country!" Finally, the Iraqi man drops a bomb and shouts, "I love my country!"
Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, "What's so funny?" And the boy says "When I farted, my house blew up!"
What's bright red and screams when you shake it? A skinned baby in a bag of salt.