When jokes
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"
Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."
What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?
"I got stuck in a butt crack!"
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
Knock knock!!
Who's there??
Dishwasher!!
Dishwasher who??
Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.
What did the potato say when the sweet potato told it to hurry?
I yam.
What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk?
What first went through Sally’s head when the Nazis came?
A bullet.
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.
Why couldn’t Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff?
Because she was wearing mittens.
I cry when you leave the room. They're tears of joy because you have an ugly hairline.
Zion's so fat, when he walks, he breaks his mama's back.
Zion is so big, when he walks it's an earthquake.