When jokes

When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:

Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?

Cancer kids be like: "When I grow up... lol nevermind."

This joke never gets old. Just like the child.

Why did the knights laugh when they run?

The grass tickled their balls. 😅😂🤣

Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.

When the school shooter starts doing Fortnite dances and the autistic kid joins in.

Are you a haunted house?

Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.

I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.

Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?

That depressed kid in class: Dead.

What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?

She slurs her words...

Why are orphans lucky?

Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.

One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.

What do you get when you mix a fly and a rabbit?

Bugs Bunny!

Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.

She got mad and ate the bus!

"Why is my name Rose?"

"A rose fell on your head when you were born."

"Why is my name Daisy?"

"A daisy fell on your head when you were born."

"Bedrock is better than Java!"

"Oh, hi Brick!"

That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice, but then you realize that you have headphones on.

What happens when a cow masturbates?

Beef jerky.

What does a refrigerator and a gay male have in common?

Only one farts when you pull the meat out. 🌝🌝🌝

Your classmate: You're so ugly.

Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.

Whenever you see an orphan taking a selfie, photo bomb him and say, "Family photo!"

So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"

Why can't he say that?

Answer: He works at an orphanage.