When jokes

My teacher called me beautiful. I hate when she lies.

Emos get jealous when their phone dies.

What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?

Let the mango.

What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:

Here comes the airplane.

What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?

A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.

I was digging in my garden when I found this chest of gold coins.

I wanted to run inside to tell my wife what I found, but that's when I remembered why I was digging.

What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.

I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.

When cops say you have the right to remain silent,

You're just happy you have the right to do something.

My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.

What did God say when he made the first black man?

"Crap, I burnt one!"

I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.

I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.

What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?

Good question.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, When life gets tough, I'll stand by you.

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

When does a cub become a Boy Scout?

When he eats his first brownie.

What did the duck do when he crossed the road?

The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀

Why don't rappers ever play hide-and-seek?

Because good luck hiding when your name's always dropping!

Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.