When jokes
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.
Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?
When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...
When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.
Memes
Yo momma so fat, when she pulled out the chair, it screamed and broke itself.
What did the orphan do when he got punched?
Nothing, because his parents weren't there! :)
What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
What did the slaves say when they met their soon-to-be masters?
"Aaah, a ghost!"
What do emos do when they meet up?
They hang out.
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
Do chiropractors have to pay back taxes?
Only when they file jointly.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"
Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? "HDMI."
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."
The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support: