When jokes
Why the hell would I go to a shooting range when I could go to school and do it for free?
When cops say you have the right to remain silent,
You're just happy you have the right to do something.
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
What did God say when he made the first black man?
"Crap, I burnt one!"
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
What do you get when you cross cow DNA with human DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
It takes a lot of trust for two cannibals to gluck gluck each other. You never know when it's goodbye willy.
The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.
You know you are from China when you use rice instead of glue.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A money manager who counts bars.
Why don't rappers ever play hide-and-seek?
Because good luck hiding when your name's always dropping!
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.