When jokes

Poverty

You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.

Family

Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.

Mama

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didn’t laugh, but the floor cracked up.

Weight

When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

Memes

Bloody Mary

How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?

Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.

Cannibal

Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?

A: A cold shoulder.

Mama

Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.

Mama

Yo mama so fat, when she falls, they have to call 999 and a crane to pick her up.

Lemonade stand

My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”

Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”

Trampoline

My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!

Hair

Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.

Orphan

Orphans have it lucky.

When teachers threaten to call parents, the orphans say, "Try me."

When teachers give homework, orphans say, "Where?"

Man

What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?

Panera Ned.

I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!

Mama

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"