When jokes
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
When a girl was having an asthma attack, Ariana said, "Just keep breathing and breathing and breathin!!!!!"
Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scales, it said, "One person at a time, please!"
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
me when i realized that buildings don't make earth any heavier cuz all the materials were already used on it.
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?
When the school shooter is about to leave the school, and then the autistic kid screams, "Hooray!"
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."
What did the black kid say when he went to the confession booth?
"Daddy?"
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof.