When jokes
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
(Just a joke, she's probably kind.)
Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.
What is it called when you have four white people in the car?
Clear windows.
What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?
Both get hard when we play with them.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
Ever heard of account stealing?
Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"?
When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
When a clock goes forward, it goes "tic-tac," but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic.
Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
What is a girl's favorite song when they are on their period?
"Period, oh period, oww!"
When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.
But you know you live alone.
What did the Twin Towers say when they saw the airplane?
Batter up!
Yo mama so fat, when they buried her, they named her Everest. Mount Everest.