When jokes

What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?

A candle or a pencil!

What happened to the leper when he accidentally walked into the screen door?

He strained himself.

What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.

Do you know when the thing of you when the was is where you and if you when you where if I and you where in the thing is where yes?

You know that your grades are bad when you get a 66% on a test and your grade goes up.

What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.

Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.

What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"

"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"

Roses are red, grass is greener.

When I think of you, I play with my weiner.

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

Yo mama so fat, when she walked in the room, we missed three seasons of our show!

What did the acorn say when it grew up?

Geometry.

(Geometry= "Gee, I'm a tree!")

Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."

Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."

Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"

What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? "HDMI."

What do you do when you finish a magazine in school?

Answer: You shoot it!

Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!

When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."

What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?

A family portrait/A selfie.

I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!