When jokes

My teacher called me beautiful. I hate when she lies.

Emos get jealous when their phone dies.

What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?

Let the mango.

What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:

Here comes the airplane.

When you name yourself "Twin Towers" and the terrorist in Kahoot.

Twin Towers are on fire.

The terrorist has a streak of two.

Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.

I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.

When I see two lovers' names on a tree, I don’t find it cute or funny. I think, why would they be bringing a knife on a date?

What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?

"Last night I had a meme."

What is a girl's favorite song when they are on their period?

"Period, oh period, oww!"

When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.

But you know you live alone.

When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.

Roses are red, grass is greener.

When I think of you, I play with my weiner.

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"

Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"

What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? "HDMI."

What do you do when you finish a magazine in school?

Answer: You shoot it!

What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?

A dictator.

When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."

What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?

When they're on their backs, they're screwed.

I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...