When jokes
What is it called when someone is a wheel chair and in a fire?
Answer: Hot wheels...
What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?
The tree leaves them hanging.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?
A family portrait.
When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
Memes
FUCKING GENIUS
When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,
The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"
The teacher replied, "Home."
The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
What happens when an alien connects with your device?
The alien says on your device: ".-- . / - .-. .- ...- . .-.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- .- -. -.-- / -- .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-.. .- -..- -.-- ..."
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
Roses are red, violets are blue, when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo!"
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?
“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”
What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown?
Cheater, cheater, woman beater!
What do you do when your cat's dead?
Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
Most women are like the Twin Towers.
It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.
What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?
Murder.