When jokes
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown?
Cheater, cheater, woman beater!
What do you do when your cat's dead?
Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.
When you reconstruct Michael Jackson and Lil Nas X to wreak havoc on preschool.
Memes
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pepperoni pizza?
Because they got plane.
Yo mama so ugly,
my screen cracked when she took her photo!
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.
What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?
Murder.
Most women are like the Twin Towers.
It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.
What do spiders and Black people have in common?
When they’re black, they kill you.
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
Yo mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"