When jokes

When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.

Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"

Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.

What is it called when someone is a wheel chair and in a fire?

Answer: Hot wheels...

What do you call it when two Mexicans fight?

Juan on Juan.

Yo mama so fat, that when she fell I didn’t laugh, but damn that sidewalk cracked up. 👋

When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.

Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...

Why are dogs born with balls?

They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.

What did the bowler say when the balls were on the lane and the pin? They said, "Strike!" 😂😂😂😂

Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.

Students: Hiding under desk.

Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!

When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.

What makes a joke a dad joke? When it leaves and doesn't come back.

When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,

The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"

The teacher replied, "Home."

The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"

When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.

Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.

Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!

What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?

Panera sped.

They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.

It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Nothing, because fish can't talk.