When jokes
Kid: I want to be Batman.
Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
What is it called when 21 Savage and 6ix9ine fight: Alien vs. Predator?
Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Answer: Damn!
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
Most women are like the Twin Towers.
It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.
I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"
She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"
I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
What did the koala do when he was too educated?
He ran away from koalapidia.
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.
Yo mama so fat, that when she fell I didn’t laugh, but damn that sidewalk cracked up. 👋
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!