When jokes
Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.
What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?
Panera sped.
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.
Memes
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Nothing, because fish can't talk.
Yo mama so fat, that when she fell I didn’t laugh, but damn that sidewalk cracked up. 👋
When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.
Joe mama's so hairy when she went to the movie theater, the people thought she was Chewbacca!
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.