When jokes
Why can't orphans go big? When you go big, it's considered family size.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
What does the Gay Garlic do when it gets hot? It takes it's CLOVES off. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Like if you LOL every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Memes
you look like a dumb crab. When everyone sees you, the world will end.
What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?
BONE-Appetit!
When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.
What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?
Removing a bomb.
What did the ocean say when it saw the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for burgers and fries.
So I was digging in the garden and I found some treasure. I was gonna tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging in the garden.
The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔
A 28 year old woman, Olga, in Meshchovsk, Russia took justice into her own hands when a 32 year old male robber, Viktor, decided to rob her salon. She tied him, feeding him only Viagra, having sex with him over and over. After a few days, she released him after he stated he learned his lesson and wouldn't go to the police. He lied and went to the police anyways. Both were arrested.
After his sentence was over, Viktor sat down to speak to the local news. The reporter asked Viktor, "How was this whole ordeal?" Viktor replied, "I've had better."