Warship jokes

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

What do a tank and a warship have in common?

They're overweight.

For centuries, Japan’s feudal dictators, called Shoguns, enforced strict laws that kept people from leaving or entering the country. This practice isolated Japan from the rest of the world. By the middle of the 19th century, Japan’s isolationism was creating problems for the United States’ whaling industry whose ships needed coal, food, and water available in Japanese ports. And sailors who were shipwrecked on the coast of Japan needed protection from mistreatment.

In November 1852, President Millard Fillmore sent an expedition to Japan to solve these problems. Led by Commodore Matthew C. Perry, the expedition had both steam-powered and sail-powered warships and several hundred men. Perry’s task was to persuade the Japanese to sign a treaty with the United States that would open Japanese ports and protect shipwrecked sailors. On July 8, 1853, the Perry expedition sailed into Edo Bay about thirty miles from the city of Edo (modern Tokyo).

During talks with the Shogun’s representatives, the idea of a treaty was repeatedly rejected. But Perry didn’t give up. Finally, in February 1854, the Japanese agreed to negotiate a treaty. The Treaty of Kanagawa established peace between the two countries, opened two ports to U.S. shipping, and protected shipwrecked sailors. It was signed on March 31, 1854.

Perry’s expedition also opened Japan to the rest of the world. Within two years, Japan signed similar treaties with Russia, Holland, and Britain.

Titanic was sinking.

Passenger: "How far are we from land?"

Captain: "Two miles."

Passenger: "Which direction?"

Captain: "Down."

Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors' fault like this:

Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: Yeah? Sailor 1: You see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: Yeah. Sailor 1: You know what would be pretty funny?

This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.

A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. (Titanic sinks.)

Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?

A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!