When jokes

I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”

That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.

Shame on you Penaldo!

Your mother is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven when she died. jaja ur momma dead.

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

Hello! I hope you're having a good day or night! Mind commenting when you laughed the hardest and why? Like if you like this post!

I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!

Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a male. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.

I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."

I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"

What do depressed people do when they’re bored?

They “Hang” Out.

You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."

Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.

When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?

I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.

I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?" I said, "Shit, I know all the letters of the alphabet." Everyone laughed, well, except for this one guy.

When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,

You respond: "cancer."

Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"

What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?

You just got fruit-rolled.

Me: Are you okay?

Dentist: I'm just a bit surprised. When I said to you "spit it out," I wasn't expecting you to say you've been shagging my wife.

When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.

"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."

What did Steven Hawking say when the WiFi cut out?.........Nothing.

Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?

A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.