When jokes

What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.

What do depressed people do when they’re bored?

They “Hang” Out.

You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."

I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."

I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"

Hello! I hope you're having a good day or night! Mind commenting when you laughed the hardest and why? Like if you like this post!

Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a male. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.

I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”

That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.

Shame on you Penaldo!

When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?

Your mother is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven when she died. jaja ur momma dead.

I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.

I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?" I said, "Shit, I know all the letters of the alphabet." Everyone laughed, well, except for this one guy.

Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.

When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,

You respond: "cancer."

Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"

What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"

What time is it when you get home, can you walk home and walk?

"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."

When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.

The direction I'm looking.

I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?

You just got fruit-rolled.