Whats jokes
What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.
What do u call a Chinese man with one leg?
Tie-wan-sho.
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"
My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.
I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.
Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?
Angela: His name is Kevin.
Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?
Angela: I don't know.
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.
My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"
So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."
What type of bow can't be tied?
Rainbow.
What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?
A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"
Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."
Q: What was the last thing the United Healthcare CEO heard before he got shot?
A: "It's me, Luigi!"
What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, flags big plus.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.