Whats jokes
What kind of file turns a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A pedophile.
If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?
Mitosis!!! (my-toe-sis)
Memes
What do you call a 3 humped camel?
Answer: a prostitute from New York. ๐๐ญ๐
What do you call a green boner? The Grinch.
The other day while I was going down on my grandma, I thought I tasted a little horse semen and I got to wondering if maybe thatโs what killed her!
Two wind turbines are standing in a field.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "Well... I'm a huge metal fan..."
What is monkey's favorite position? Donkey Kong.
What did the basketball say to the Frisbee... "No balls."
What did the tree say to his sister? Wood you please leaf me alone, you son of a birch?
When you're Russian to the bathroom, and when you're finished you're from Finland, what are you when you are IN the bathroom?
European.
What did the first guy say to the second?
Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.
Actor: Really? What do I do?
Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)
What does a grape do if a rhino is about to squash it?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?
A dead baby can't feed a family.
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?
"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"