What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Alright, listen up, dummy. This joke is all about domestic abuse. The "black eyes" suggest the woman has been hit, and the joke implies that anything you'd say to her has already been said – likely during an argument that led to the abuse. See? You're supposed to laugh at the fact that it's probably true and that you're a terrible person for laughing. Based.