What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
Whats Jokes
What's the best thing about having sex with a 26-year-old?
There's 20 of them.
A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.
The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.
After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."
What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?
My penis.
What do gay horses eat?
Horse dick.
What’s the most common name for cancer patients?
Luke (leukemia)
So, I was fucking my daughter the other night, and I don't know what was funnier, the look on my wife's face, or the fact the abortion clinic let me keep her.
What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?
"Hi-five!"
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?
"Just ate a tasty steak!"
What’s the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend...
You get to meet Chris Hansen!
What do the names Alan and Jordan have in common?
An.
What's the worst part about microwaving vegetables?
Fitting the wheelchair in.
What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill you?
A pool table.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
It's still called a "cow."
What is the difference between a tree 🌳 and a car 🚘?
A car can drive and a tree cannot drive.
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around, and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
