Whats jokes
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave children's rooms with an empty sack.
What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.
What did Saturday say on the day before Friday?
I’m thursty (Thursday).
What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
What's yellow and can't float?
A school bus full of children.
What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop an onion.
What is a thing orphans have that we can never have?
Imaginary parents.
What's one plus one?
Yo mama.
Why do orphans become criminals?
To feel what it is like to be wanted.
What’s black and at the top of a stair case?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day.
Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trashcans.
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
What’s the best part about sex with twenty eight year olds?
There are twenty of them.
What song does an orphan hate?...
"I'm so lonely."
What happened when the emo went through the self-checkout?
Two beeps went off.
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"