Whats jokes
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
What did the hat say to the tie?
"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"
What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
What did the skeleton play when he joined the band?
A tromBONE.
Memes
Wait what???
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
Me: Hey Joe, updog.
Joe: What?
Me: Updog.
Joe: What's updog?
*Facepalms*
Me: Lol in the corner.
What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
Your looking sharp!
What does Santa say to 3 girls in a row?
HO HO HO
What's the difference between a baby and a Dorito?
One is a tasty snack, the other is a Dorito.
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A tromboner.
Teacher: What’s 2+2?
Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh
Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
What comes next in the pattern: ottffs?
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
Velcro, what a rip-off!
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
Q: What is the opposite of 'Dominos'?
A: Domi doesn't know!