Whats jokes
What do you call Mexicans running down a hill?
Sandstorm.
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.
Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
Memes
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
Q: What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
A: Leukemia.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
What do Mexicans call a wall? A ladder.
What's the difference between a surgeon and God?
God knows he's not a surgeon.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
What do angels serve at birthday parties in Heaven?
Angel food cake! 🎂🥳
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.
What is the opposite of salt water?
Pepper water.
What is the best thing about a gipsy on her period?
When you finger her, you get your palm red for free.
What's the difference between a pizza & a person?
A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
What did the cheetah tell the other cheetah when they had a test?
"Cheetah, cheetah!"
What do you call someone with a rubber toe?
Roberto.