Whats jokes
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth pics.
What is Spiderman's favorite rice?
Uncle Ben's.
What kind of flower do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising...
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
A special quote:
What is the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?
NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A. The little girl in my trunk.
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"
"Claustrophobic!"
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
What would Bill Cosby be if he was white?
Innocent.
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers.
Do you know what the F in orphan is for...
Family.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
What war did the black community win?
The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.